True Parental Love
Section 1. Parental Heart Wants to Give Everything Parents who have given birth to and raised children all understand the desire to receive blessings and feel happi- ness through their sons and daughters, whom they love dearly. Also, if they have established a correct standard through which they can experience joy, they will want to bequeath this to their offspring for eternity. Even fallen parents hope that their children will grow up as fine people who can be followed and revered
by all nations and praised eternally. The parental heart seeks to protect children from harm and is concerned about them day and night. The heart of fallen parents can even be like this. For example, a mother ignores the diaper smells from her baby while nursing her child at her breast. Thus, if fallen parents have such a heart towards their children, how earnest must God’s heart have been, longing to love Adam and Eve based on their original hearts? You should all think about this. When you nurse and nurture your babies, you sing them lullabies and whisper to them, wishing that their lives will be a success. Any parent has such a heart. No matter how incompetent or lacking parents may be, if one of their children suffers from a disability, the parents’ hearts are devastated to the point of breaking. If this situation is then resolved, the relief and joy are overwhelming in proportion to the original pain. If such is the heart of a fallen parent, what must be the heart of God? (20-209, 1968.6.9)
If a son commits a crime and is sent to prison, the parents tearfully forgive and reach out to him, instead of saying, “Serves him right!” This is why parental love is extraordinary. Similarly, if a son is sentenced to execution, his mother will be totally grief-stricken and seek any way, even changing the world’s legal systems or risking her life, to save her son. (91-147, 1977.2.6)
Such is the unchanging and sacrificial nature of the parental heart towards the children. (50-281, 1971.11.8)
Do loving parents keep an account of the times they love their children, saying: “We bought you shoes and clothes a few days ago with our hard earned money, which cost us so many dollars and cents”? When parents love their children, they want to treat them even better than princes and princesses, and still feel sorry that they cannot give more. Parents have the heart of wanting to give their children something better. This is why we cherish parental love. You should all know this. Parents give and yet feel that it is not enough; they love and yet feel as if there is some love they have not yet given and want to give more; and even after giving, they still feel unsatisfied with what they were able to give their children. This essence of parental love is then what connects us to eternal love. This is the original motivation for the beginning point of love. (60-82, 1972.8.6)
When relating to their children, parents want to give all their best possessions. That is parental heart and reflects the nature of God. Then, what kind of being is God? God is a being who wants to give all His precious attributes to those who truly become His children. (56-147, 1972.5.14)
Section 2. Parents Desire to Be Surpassed by Their Children If I were to ask those of you who are middle-aged or older, “When you were young and looking for a spouse, did you want to find someone better or worse than you?” you would all give the same answer: “Someone better”. No matter whom you ask, in the East or West, you will hear the same response. Similarly, in the relationship between parents and children, parents never want their chil- dren to be second-rate. For example, if a good-looking couple marries and has a baby who is nowhere near as good-look- ing as the parents, the couple still wants to hear praise about the appearance of
their child. (77-102, 1975.4.1)
No matter how attractive a woman is, she will still be happy if she hears a passer-by compliment her baby with: “Wow, he’s so much better-looking than his mother!” Even though this implies she is much less attractive than her baby, no mother would protest at hearing this and grumble, “What? Is he much more attractive than me? Then does this mean that I am much less attractive?” Rather, she would be unable to contain her joy. This is the maternal heart. Whom do you think such a heart resembles? Mothers are resultant beings, not causal ones. Any family where the son achieves less than his father will decline. If the father is the president of his country but his son’s accomplishments fall short of his, and if this pattern were to continue for some generations, that family will gradually decline and ultimately be driven to a miserable state. Therefore, if a son asks his father, “Shouldn’t I do better than you?” would the father reply “How dare you say that!” or “Of course, go ahead!”? Of course, he would say the latter. (41-281, 1971.2.17)
When determining who to entrust with responsibility for the family, no parents would want to choose those inferior to them. Why is this so? It is because parents always hope their children will outshine them. The same is true with respect to the nation. The rulers of a nation should wish for their successors to be greater than they are. Whether in the family or in the nation, the desire should always be for successors who are superior to them in every regard. This is something that is desired eternally, and that transcends the fortunes of history. (Blessed Family -1002)
If true parental love is to perpetuate forever, someone must inherit its tradition. Since our children are clearly our successors, we must educate them to become the heirs of this tradition and enhance it onto higher levels. While each generation should recognize the importance of the existing tradition, they should not just inherit it, but also develop it for the future. Such a tradition can only start in true families with parents who are constantly burning with hope that their children will surpass them. Such parents will consistently encourage their children to succeed. Parents who long for the day when their children surpass them will devote their utmost efforts to prepare the best possible environment for them. Such parents will sacrifice everything for the sake of their children’s happiness, and push them in the direction that will make the children better than their parents. (Blessed Family -1002)
Parents are happy when their children outshine them. Thus, women who bear children who do not do as well will not have the dignity to enter heaven. You should be able to love your sons and daughters more than your own mother and father loved you. Moreover, when your children also think like this, a world of love will emerge naturally, and the Kingdom of Heaven will be realized. (97-310, 1978.3.26)
Section 3. Parental Love Is Eternally Unchanging What is the original motivation of parental love? While conjugal love is changeable, why is parental love toward the children born of that conjugal love unchanging? Parental love does not originate from conjugal love. Unchang- ing love does not originate from the horizontal conjugal relationship, but is surely related to the origin of a vertical flow. Who would such a vertical subject be? He is known as God. Vertical love is not the kind of love that a husband and wife can enjoy as they please. In the case of vertical love, it is impossible to say that you will love, when you want to, and not, when you don’t want to. It can- not be severed. It cannot be severed by
man who is in the horizontal position. Thus, the love parents have toward their children never changes. In today’s democratic society caught in the floodtide of individualism, children say that they have changed according to the new trends of the age. They want to disassociate from conventional norms, yet even though they argue about the old ways and new ways, their parents’ heart does not lead them to say, “You go your way, and I will go mine.” Parental love is not like that. Even animals are the same. In loving their young, they transcend their lives. (48-154, 1971.9.12)
Where did parental love come from? If we are resultant beings of the First Cause with some relationship to Him, we have come from within some destined power of this First Cause. This is not something we as human beings can touch. As such, have you ever heard anyone say, “Let us revolutionize the love with which parents love their children; let us become the standard-bearers of that revolution”? Let’s suppose some parents come forward with the idea of revolutionizing parental love and reinventing human history, claiming, “Even though we are parents, we will not love our children.” Yet, the moment their baby’s umbilical cord is cut, a loving heart will naturally arise in them. Every life form, whether on a higher or lower level, is created in such a way that it cannot but love its young. Thus, since the act of loving their children inspires parents to invest and use their lives as stepping stones, it is clear that parental love brings us closest to an eternal and unchanging standard. When seeking an absolute standard, although parental love may not achieve this by itself, it can be a stepping stone closest to absoluteness for human beings. It can be the only foothold. Then, looking at the history of the world, I wonder whether it has not become a permanent foothold. Where did such parental love come from? It is not learned based on advice from one’s father or the admonition of one’s spouse; nor does it come from one’s own decision to love. It happens naturally. Love is something that comes naturally. (48-156, 1971.9.12)
If we analyze the essence of love, there is no need to revolutionize love. When parents love their children, this is part of true love. This is why the heart with which people loved their children from the time of the first ancestors is the same heart with which we descendants several millennia later love our own children. Moreover, the heart with which our descendants several millennia later will love their children will also be the same. Love is eternal. True love is something pure that does not need to be revolutionized. Then, what kind of love is God’s love? If God establishes certain beings in positions with an absolute standard, acknowledges their existence, and loves them, then that love needs no further drastic change. (18-11, 1967.5.14)
Section 4. Parental Love Sacrifices Everything Love cannot be fulfilled alone. With- out an investment of life, love cannot be established. When considering the love in the parent-child relationship, there is a clear bond of life. Thus, as long as a bond of life remains, and as long as there is hope within that bond, love will sure- ly remain. No bond of love can be made apart from a bond of life. Thus, love requires an investment through a bond of life, and then the degree to which you invest your life will determine the value
you feel. (32-14, 1970.6.14)
For example, parents’ love for their children is not just based on their daily relationship; rather, it is a love that comes from their bone marrow. Parents have a loving heart that cannot be forgotten or cut off from, no matter how you may try. This is why parents love their children until their last breath. As soon as parents feel they have a bond of life with their children, a heart of love naturally arises in them. Parents do not love their children based merely on a deliberate decision because they are their children. Instead, parents cannot help loving their children beyond any personal intention or connection, due to the life force connecting them. Such things are felt very clearly in our family life. (32-14, 1970.6.14)
What kind of being is God? God is a being with a heart that desires to give and give endlessly, which is also why we seek Him. If God were just a merchant who says, “Hey, this costs so many dollars and cents,” we would not pursue that kind of God. Why should all people love God and follow Him? Why should we like God? It is because He gives and gives everything to all people and still feels ashamed, saying, “I can only give you this much now, but wait just a while, and I will give you a hundred and even a thousand times more.” God is not content with what He has given so far. God’s heart seeks to give abundantly, while also promising even better things in the future. If we are with such a being, we can be happy even in a state of poverty. When we reach the situation wherein we are experiencing starvation, in a shocking way we experience the stimulation of future hope within the present reality. What this means is that through such hope, we can make a new resolution. When a mother feels sorry that she cannot give enough, if her child hugs her, saying, “Mommy!” will it just be a physical hug? How grateful she will be! It is a chance to shed tears of mutual comfort looking to the future. It is not an occasion for despair, but a place of explosive growth where they can take the hope of tomorrow as stimulation for the present, make a joint resolution together, and encourage each other. Therefore, such an experience is not a miserable one. Only within such a realm of love can we find the stimulation to look to the future and sing praise for its value within the realm of reality. Hence, we come to the conclusion that there is no misfortune for those who live within that realm of love. (36-290, 1970.12.13)
Parents want to sacrifice everything for the sake of their children. This is like God. What does this mean? God does not invest Himself for His own sake. Likewise, parents want to live for the sake of others rather than for their own sake; they want to stand in the position of God, who lives for the sake of others. If God were to say that He only exists for Himself, this would not be true love. Love, life, and hope are realized when parents sacrifice themselves completely for the sake of their children and are bound together with them. (69-61, 1973.9.10)
Section 5. Parents’ Love for Their Children Is Absolute In my childhood, I would often look at bird nests. Once I climbed a tree to look into a nest, and the mother bird started pecking at me. She was desper- ate and willing to die to protect her nest, and not only once. When I brushed her
aside, she flew away, and then came back. Seeing this, we cannot deny the powerful instinct of animals to transcend their own lives to protect their offspring. It is similar with human beings. You should be able to invest your life for the sake of love. That is the way of a true person. What kind of people are truly good? They are those who establish love as their root, and try to protect their loved ones even at the cost of their own lives. This is where goodness is initiated and where the rationale for reciprocal goodness is established. This is something that never changes. (186-15, 1989.1.14)
When I was in Danbury prison, I witnessed an interesting thing. A slope was being bulldozed into a tennis court. However, when the rainy season came, work had to stop for a few weeks until the weather cleared up. During the delay, a water bird built a nest only three meters away from the path the inmates used for their exercise. The water bird was not easily noticeable as her colors allowed her to blend into the background. Therefore, while she was guarding her eggs, no one realized she was there, even through they repeatedly walked right by her. When the water bird curled up, she looked just like a round black stone from the side, but when her eggs hatched and the baby birds started feeding, they were pretty noisy and gave away their location. Several of the inmates tried to mess around with the water bird, but she proved very capable of protecting her young. When she returned with food, she never landed close to her nest, but chose different locations, then slowly crept over to her chicks. Every day she approached from a different direction in order to protect her young. This is how she protected them. As her chicks grew larger, she would make lots of noise and peck any inmates who came too close. She was clearly warning them to stay away. Who taught the water bird to be like this? It is the power of the universe. All things of creation are on a level plane, centering on God’s love as the axis. They may have different positions on that plane, but their level of love and care is the same. (136-23, 1985.12.20)
When a honeybee tastes nectar while visiting flowers, it attaches itself with its legs and sucks with its abdomen sticking out. I know bees very well. If you pull one with tweezers while it is sucking nectar, it will not let go, even if its abdomen is torn off. True love is like this. You can even cast away your life. True love is not based on calculated gain. Being able to forsake and disregard one’s own life is the path of true love. Parents walk that path. Consider the case of parents, who love their children: if a child is in mortal danger, parents will willingly die in place of their child. Parental heart willingly goes the way of death for the sake of love. This is true love. (144-209, 1986.4.24)
Suppose a man becomes extremely wealthy through his own hard work, sweat, and tears, such that he could boast of his achievement throughout the world. If his child is then faced with a life-and-death situation, material things will no longer matter to him, and he will sacrifice all his wealth and even his own life to save his child. (34-160, 1970.9.6)
Section 6. Parental Love Is Eternal Is there a limit to parents’ love for their children? Parents love their chil- dren not only during the childhood years, but throughout the child’s entire life, and even into eternity. If a relation- ship is established between a parent and a child through which they can feel increasing worth and value, then infinite force, infinite stimulation and some- thing infinitely new will arise within
that relationship. (32-12, 1970.6.14)
The love of a mother or father is one of the greatest forms of love in the human world. Even people in high positions in society are vulnerable to the needs of their children. Parental love toward one’s children is unconditional and unlimited because it is the mother of all kinds of love. Thus, orphans who grow up without receiving parental love, thirst after it most of all. Although they may have a house to sleep in and food to eat, orphans always lack and long for something in their heart, and that is the love of a parent. (Blessed Family -1017)
Most of you were raised by loving parents. Whether the children are young or old, their parents always love them. Even if parents have a seventy-year-old son, they will still look at him the way they used to when they raised him long before; this is parental heart. As children age, the parent’s heart continues to draw ever closer, the sense of responsibility toward their children increases, and the heart to live for the sake of the children deepens. We can see this clearly when we observe how parents relate to their children in society. (Blessed Family -1017)
Parents go through many difficulties for the sake of their children, but do not feel the hardship. Why? It is because they love them. After giving their flesh and blood, do parents keep a record? No. Rather, they are pained at not being able to give more. The same is true for the mothers here, isn’t it? When you breastfeed your babies and they don’t feed well, you feel worried. Isn’t it true that your babies take away your flesh and blood? In a sense, aren’t they the greatest of all thieves? Yet still mothers feel anxious when their babies do not feed properly. Why do parents love their children so much? It is because this is the law of love. (39-334, 1971.1.16)
When a mother watches her baby feeding at her breast, her touch and feeling is centered on love. Also, when holding her baby, a mother experiences a beautiful atmosphere because heaven and earth enter a state of peace. This is why, no matter how much trouble babies can be, mothers have room in their hearts to accept and even encourage such behavior. There is no limit to the love parents feel for their children. In one sense, a baby is an enemy who sucks out his mother’s flesh and blood. Yet there is no mother who thinks that way. A baby allows the discovery of many new things. For instance, a baby stimulates new hope for the mother and father. At such times, there are also new realizations. This bond is unchangeable. (Blessed Family -1017)
Section 7. Parental Love Sets the Standard for All Forms of Love Parental love is the highest. Those who have been raised with the empow- erment of true parental love become well-rounded people and understand the dynamics of love. The family is the school of love. The children will never forget their parents’ love. The full expe- rience of parental love is impossible
without parents. (62-16, 1972.9.10)
What should the love among children be like? What should they use as the standard for loving? Brothers and sisters should love each other just as their father and mother do. From whom should we learn about love? We should learn from our parents. (66-120, 1973.4.18)
Children should be able to say to their mother and father, “Our mother and father are the greatest in the world. They are the ones who stand in the position of God!” When children see an unchanging heart and love between their parents and say, “Let us learn from this love and become united among ourselves as well,” this is the realization of an ideal family. When children grow up and reach young adulthood, they go looking for a partner with whom their mind and heart can be one. This is realized through marriage, where a man and woman totally respect each other and strive to establish the standard of love and heart. You should have a family in which the mother and father can unite with God’s heart and love, and then the children can take after their parents and also unite with God’s heart and love. (Blessed Family -913)
It is the order and tradition of love for the one in the position of the elder brother, as a representative of the parents, to sacrifice himself and love his younger siblings centering on the parents’ love. The position of the elder brother brings with it the responsibility to suffer most among his siblings. It is the same with the position of parents, who suffer the most for the sake of the children. If parents shed tears and sacrifice for the sake of their children, the children will naturally want to follow their parents. (Blessed Family -913)
When they relate with God as the center, children can express love to each other in many different ways. The older child should love the younger sibling in the same way the parents love him. In a family united through such love, the love within that family will blossom, and become the love within a society and the love within a nation. In this way it eventually becomes the love of the whole world. (28-151, 1970.1.11)
What is the reason you receive love from your parents? It is because your father and mother’s motivation to rely on each other and love each other originates in you. Do you understand? Thus, when brothers and sisters love each other centering on that motivation, their love also will not change. Similarly, when you think of your neighbor as if he were your own self, the right social environment will develop. The family is the formation stage, the society is the growth stage, and the nation is the completion stage. You must go through all three stages. All families must be linked together. Only then will love develop among them and unity be realized on the national level. Society is divided into many sectors. Companies have a CEO, and how many heads of state does a country have? Isn’t it just one? One person is responsible. In this way, a unified pattern is established, while the scale just increases. Becoming one, yet also being divided into many parts is the essence of the four-position foundation. (26-153, 1969.10.25)